How to Wreck a Nice Beach

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Something To That Effect

“Theoretical Security Was Not Absolute Like The Records”

By Dave Tompkins at 11:44pm ET

This diver is searching for the 50,000 ton vocoder that had been chucked in the Chesapeake Bay after World War II. The compression he must be feeling.

What’s up with that fish’s face?

We released a limited edition 45 (only 500 printed) which is now available for purchase. Each record is a different color, made from recycled vinyl, and includes a special 8-page booklet detailing the effects of 2001: A Space Odyssey on Jermaine Dupri when he danced at the Swatch Watch NYC Fresh Festival in 1984.

Track Listing

Geno Jordan: “You’re a Peachtree Freak On Peachtree Street (Tom Noble Edit)”

I once knew a kid from Gainesville named Peaches who did belly-flops off the high dive. That stings.

Geno Jordan is from Atlanta. This classy, sophisticated grown-up space-funk situation makes the author fondly think of the Peachoid water tower off I-85 South in Gaffney, South Carolina, which admittedly is not Atlanta, but looks like a giant rear end, or a planet, and will get you there soon enough.

IZ Army:  “Brainwash (Army of Shadows Edit)”

According to Discogs, the IZ Army logo is designed by Philco. It appears to be a war eagle wearing keyboard flip-flops, under a flashing star (or the Very Idea!) that could easily be classified by William Corliss as “phenomena.” Philco may be some guy named Phil, or the same Ford Motor Company subsidiary that manufactured vocoders for the Air Force. Either way, it would make a dope hood ornament.







Courtney Branch, the gentleman on the vocoder here, is credited as “Commander Crazy.” The chorus seems to favor Mtume and is pretty uplifting for a song about brainwashing.

Fantasy Three: “Biter’s Dub (All You Have Is Yore Teeth Edit)”

Pardon me, but my teeth are in your record.

As mentioned in the book, this record is about vampire vacuum cleaners, Donald Sutherland pods, clone drones, mirrors of mylar, and microphones carried in shaving kits. And Fangoria. It literally almost tore my mom’s turntable apart when it refused to surrender the spindle. It just wanted to remain there and keep playing. Like, forever. This is the black hit of space. Fantasy Three were from Harlem, and among many things, should be sainted for mentoring LL and Kool G Rap. Pumpkin’s dub version still remains one of the most futuristic electro tracks ever made.


The record was made in partnership with Peoples Potential Unlimited, and mix assistance was provided by Tom Noble and DJ Monk-One. For more info on the record click here.


1 Comment »

  1. Hey Dave, any chance on making “How to wreck…” an e-book? I’d love to have it on my iPad. You could even do an audiobook, read entirely thru a vocoder. Thanks for all your hard work, it’s my favorite book of all time!

    Comment by Matt — April 11, 2012 @ 1:28am

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