How to Wreck a Nice Beach

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Something To That Effect

The Hold-Up

By Dave Tompkins at 2:33pm ET

(Courtesy High Country News/Seventh Annual Report of the Missouri State


Sorry for the service interruption. We’ve been fooling with the expanded paperback edition of How to Wreck a Nice Beach, due out in November. Which is to say a giant grasshopper has been standing between me and my blog duties.

Anywizards, one day, I’d like to tell you about a conversation I had with Hellstrom Chronicle director Walon Green in 2002. He was talking about smuggling locusts into the US from Africa. “Apparently it’s illegal to start a plague in the state of California,” he said. Needless to say, this is one of my favorite interviews. I was so happy afterward that I forgot about crossing reality and was nearly flattened by a UPS truck.

For now, the future, I’ll be presenting at Eyebeam next Monday (June 13), along with Steve Goodman/Kode9’s AUDiNT collective, in anticipation of their Dead Record Office exhibition, opening Friday, June 17. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be flushed out the Vietnam jungle by “unsound” Infrabass weaponry, here’s your chance.

(If you’ve ever wondered what’s it like to flushed out of a subwoofer by a Dynamix II vocoder song that says, “Toilet bowl rock you to the ground,” go here.)

On Monday, expect to hear from Operation Wandering Soul, the WWII audio decepticon program, the specter of spectral communications, military use of “vestigial emanations,” and the professor who threw Goethe’s stolen larynx in front of a train.

I will also be playing a special disco gospel vocoder chant called “You Ought To Been There,” recorded in 1980 by Geraldine Stewart. The logo is a pair of flapdancing winged serpents straight out of a Larry Cohen movie that discouraged rooftop sun-bathing. (Is this the voice of Q?) Shattered like a glass goblin.


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