How to Wreck a Nice Beach

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Something To That Effect

Yeichs And Away

By Dave Tompkins at 1:53pm ET

I apologize to The Greatest Month, and the Hardee’s biscuit witch, for dawdling on the monster prep. In the meantime,  here’s an old zombie thing I did for Hua Hsu a few years ago, before Dead Snow ruined it for Richard Raaphorst’s shelved Nazi zombie film Worst Case Scenario. Best trailer without a movie ever.

View Trailer 1 here

View Trailer 2 here

More images from the Raaphorst film here

How to Wreck a Nice Beach Chair

Friendly living dead paratrooper drops in on afternoon worm dig. The plop plop of maggots from heaven. Wave to the Balloon Men. Garden claw, hi.

As for the other trailer—beyond the uh-oh tremolo, the bombs, the premature beach burial, the hot dogs, and World Cup schnurbartbinde…

Machine shop fingers! Ballpark stitching! Holy two-faced facemeltness! Great groaning fog horns! Puddle soup helmet! (Almost trumps the crone serving biscuits on a fried Stuka wing in Europe Central.)

And the Sgt. with the Talk Box tube. Who crashed through that nylon beach chair?

If this trailer doesn’t win best costuming, I’ll eat my neighbors.

As We Were Deteriorating

My brother and his 11-year old daughter at dinner:

“My stupid friend Eugene likes zombies. He wants zombies to take over the world.”
“I’ve been in a zombie state all week.”
“Not those zombies!”
“We beat Zombie State last year in the playoffs.”
“I mean Eugene likes dead rotting people walking around with dirt in their teeth.”
“We totally buried their offense.”
“They had a running back…”
“You need to get up from the table and walk away from your weirdness, slowly.”
“His name was Eldritch Von Bonehammer.”


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